Adios
by G4LL0WSC4LL1BR4T0R
Summary: "I want to start this off by saying how sorry I am. I didn't intend to hurt anyone, if anyone is hurt by this. It's not what I wanted at all. But I guess I just see no way out and it will probably be better like this anyway. What's one more dead troll?" This is his suicide note.


AN: This... It was supposed to be fluff... I'm not sure what happened...

Gamzee is dead, this is Tav's suicide note.

* * *

I want to start this off by saying how sorry I am. I didn't intend to hurt anyone, if anyone is hurt by this. It's not what I wanted at all. But I guess I just see no way out and it will probably be better like this anyway. What's one more dead troll?

Equius, thank you for making me the legs. I know it's embarrassing to make things for a pathetic low-blood like me, especially one as weak and pathetic as me, but you did it anyway, so thanks.

Sollux, I'm sorry for causing your girlfriend's death that one time, even though it was all indirect and whatever, but it was my fault in the end.

Eridan, I guess thanks for not killing me even though I'm a pathetic land-dweller and I know you have some sort of eternal grudge against us for some reason that doesn't really make sense, but I know you could have killed me like, a million times, so I guess thanks.

Nepeta, you were a lot of fun to roleplay with, back before all of this happened. You were one of the few people who didn't really treat me any different after the accident, and that was really cool. You were always super nice to me, even though Equius didn't think you should be and you're his moirail and stuff. You're really cool and I hope you don't change too much because of the game because I think that'd really suck if you got all sad because you totally don't deserve it.

Feferi, I want to say thanks for being all chill even though I'm a lowblood and I don't really deserve your kindness because you're the highest blood caste and you shouldn't be nice to land dwellers or low bloods or whatever, but you are and that's really cool. I think you would have made a great empress.

Aradia, I guess I never really got to say thanks for trying to avenge me. There's never been a day when I don't blame myself for getting you killed, even if you only sort of died, and I know you don't blame me but I blame me so I guess that's it. I miss the days where we could roleplay and send the Scourge Sisters totally running for cover. We made a really cool team. That is to say, you were really cool and I guess I was just sort of there pretending I was cool. Because I was really pathetic in the end, wasn't I? I couldn't even escape some stupid monsters and I ended up getting thrown off a cliff, sort of, and then you got killed and it's pretty much all my fault and I already said this all, and I'm sorry.

Terezi, I know you are probably going to be angry at Vriska because of this but it's not really her fault even though I'm going to say it is in this letter. That's sort of just to get back at her for everything she's done to me because I'm too much of a weakling to hurt her back or anything, unlike you who got the cue ball to blow up in her face somehow or something, because you're really cool and you totally stuck up for me even though I was pretending it didn't matter because I thought that was what cool kids do or something I don't even know anymore. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't do anything to get hurt because you're mad or whatever.

Kanaya, I guess sort of the same thing I told Terezi. Don't be mad or anything because when I say it was Vriska I don't really mean that it was her and I know you were her moirail a while ago and I guess I was thinking that maybe you'd blame yourself or something. I don't know, I guess I'm being really quick to assume and you'll probably think it's better like this anyway because then you'll be able to go for Vriska without me in the way.

Vriska, you were right I guess, I was really weak and stupid and it's my fault for losing all those chances you gave me to become strong and smart even if you set them up for me to fail no matter what I did. But it's your fault that you kept rubbing it in and beating me down whenever I tried to stand up, and I mean that both literally and as a metaphor for how condescending you were all the time, and it's your fault that I stayed upset and, I guess self-esteem-less for so long, even though that's not even a real thing, like Rufio isn't real and fairies aren't real and Pupa Pan isn't real. But I think some of your lessons in courage and stuff got through because even though I'm really scared and shaking, I'm going to go through with this anyway and that's sort of what you always wanted me to do, isn't it?

Karkat, I'm sorry. I really am sorry because I couldn't follow you the way a good follower is supposed to follow a leader and so I guess I failed at even that in the end. Thanks, though, for asking me to be on your team even though I'm really useless and dumb and stuff and I know you didn't want me to be on your team because of that but you asked anyway and that's cool.

Gamzee, I love you. I'm coming.

Adios,  
Tavros


End file.
